I’m in the middle of struggling as a blue belt in jiu jitsu.
The owner, Dan, was coaching class last Wednesday and I couldn’t have displayed less progress or skill. I was completely in my head, overthinking instead of moving.
Maybe I’m different in this sense, but I don’t care about earning a black belt.
I started training jiu jitsu in 2021 and then switched academies to Worcester MMA in 2022. From the beginning, my goal was to reach purple belt while staying as healthy as possible. After that, I wanted to enjoy the journey and continue refining my game.
Somewhere over the past few months, I’ve fallen into the trap of chasing the promotion instead of embracing the process that earns it.
Recently, I decided to stop playing that head game with myself. I’ve told teammates that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. I don’t know what my coaches need to see before I’m ready for a purple belt, and that’s okay. My job isn’t to decide when I’m promoted. My job is to show up, practice, learn, and improve.
I’m currently reading The Way of Excellence by Brad Stulberg, and one chapter, “Patience,” hit me at the right time.
I want to share a lengthy quote because there is important information in his message:
“Researchers have found that when we accomplish micro-objectives on the path to distant goals, our bodies release dopamine, the neurochemical associated with motivation and drive. Without hits of dopamine, we are likely to become apathetic and give up. In other words, process promotes progress, and progress, on a neurochemical level, primes us to persist.
Breaking goals down into their component parts and then focusing on those parts is essential to patience, and therefore it is essential to excellence…”
Later he writes:
“When we are working hard toward a goal and want it badly, there is a propensity to zoom in and lose perspective. It happens to me, and it probably happens to you, too. But if we can stay with the discomfort of waiting, if we can just hold on and avoid making reckless decisions and big mistakes, then we improve our odds of accomplishing something extraordinary. Stick to the process. Focus on the work itself. You can’t control what you may or may not be down the road. All you can control is your effort right now.”
That was the reminder and confirmation I needed.
The lesson had very little to do with jiu jitsu and everything to do with how we pursue any meaningful goal.
Your goal is likely different than my jiu jitsu goal.
Maybe you’re chasing a heavier deadlift, your first pull up, lower blood pressure, a multi-day hike, less back pain, fitting into your favorite pair of jeans, or having enough energy to keep up with your kids.
It’s easy to become impatient when progress doesn’t happen as quickly as we’d like. We start questioning the plan, comparing ourselves to others, or wondering if we’re falling behind.
Meaningful progress rarely feels fast while you’re living through it.
The people who succeed aren’t always the most talented. More often, they’re the ones willing to keep showing up, practicing the fundamentals, and trusting that small improvements compound over time.
Nothing worth doing happens overnight.
Focus on today’s work. Celebrate the little victories. Trust the process, and let the outcome take care of itself.
That’s how useful strength is built.